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社会心理学

借了本社会心理学入门在最后一章介绍了几个MOOC作为衍生阅读 ,其中一门功课的主讲人是积极心理学的教授。当年他风度翩翩,还曾在课堂上讲自己研究幼子的行为举止来重复儿童/发展心理学的一些著名实验,譬如棉花糖实验。而现在,他变得和亚瑟·韦斯莱的电影形象差不多,一个头发乱糟糟,大腹便便的中年汉,而儿子也已经是teenager,时间真的飞快 。

教授写的,公共图书馆借的到

教授写的,公共图书馆借的到

说服他人的六种方法

  1. The urge to reciprocate
    礼尚往来是人类的共性,所以如果商家提供免费的小礼物,脸皮薄的顾客要装作视而不见会很难。
  2. You really know your stuff, being consistent
    labeling :推销员常常会赞美你的品味真好,眼光真高……为了证明自己确实如Ta所言,你只能买下那些贵而不实的商品
    foot-in-the-door technique:渐进式地步步为营,请求从无足轻重到举足轻重
    the low-ball:广告上登只售1块的机票,打电话去预定,才明白这票价不含税不包餐及托运,要享受这优惠价还需购买原价的返程票~~~
    the bait-and-switch techniques:广告上登出199块的洗衣机,到了门店销售员说该型号的洗衣机已销售一空,不过还有另一个相似的型号,当然价格要贵一些……
  3. Social proof
    为了吸引食客多给小费,服务员在开门营业前的一个必修课是 Salting the tips jar,即在零钱罐里塞点硬币证明食客都很大方,你也不例外。
    有一个单身朋友出去吃饭却没能安排靠窗的位置,她向领位员抱怨自己点得多过两个人的。其实按照Social proof的说法是她长得不够attractive, 不足以吸引路人进来瞧一瞧。我是好人,忍住没有戳穿。
  4. What a coincidence, me too
    你是中国人?我学过汉语呢!我去过北京!哦,上海我也去过!自从来到澳洲,这种对话来回过无数次。。。其实汉语水平和我妈妈的英语有得一拼,北京上海香港傻傻分不清。
  5. Trust me and my white coat, responding to authority figures.
    在马路上免费量血压随后推销保健药的,十之八九穿着白大褂。
    再譬如我一直认为牙线的作用被毫无根据地给无限扩大了。可惜我不是医生,家人都不理睬我的说法。好不容易找到证据>>,可看了下面的评论,还在用“我感觉”来否定客观结果。
  6. Don’t delay, implying scarcity
    最后1天,先到先得,手慢无。

Self-presentation bias
我们都希望被喜爱。书上给出的例子是大家在自我介绍时可能会说:我是学生,爱看书听音乐。却不太会说我最讨厌穷人,我种族歧视。可能国情不同吧,中国人好像不觉得偏见是一个人的污点,甚至还有些自鸣得意,譬如嚣张地宣称说我不雇佣超过30岁以上的人,台下掌声一片。

说到偏见,不得不提及这个实验 >>,有兴趣的可以测试一下。
As quickly as you can, picture a scientist in your mind. Describe as much as you can of the person who immediately comes to mind. I bet male, at least 30 years old, reasonably tall and thin, white or Asian, and perhaps wearing glasses.
我小学时候的语文课本,工人这个词语上面画的是一个头颈上打着白毛巾皮肤黝黑的中年人。很可悲,身为女性从事理科争取男女平等,然而一想到科学家,映入脑海地还真如作者推测地一模一样。

You have to be very careful, with the way that different social groups are portrayed in the media. Although everyone knows explicitly that not all blondes are dumb and that not all Muslims are evil. But if all these associations are repeatedly seen on TV, they seep into people’s memories and are perpetuated in society.
如果看美剧的话,你一定会注意到有越来越多的角色是gay,他们大多风趣聪明又善良。一直以来我都觉得gay只是个人的生活方式,只要不影响他人无所谓好坏。随着电视政界无处不在地讨论争取gay的权利,我却越来越反感。第一,世界上还有更严重的问题需要关注(天灾人祸)。第二,不同于性别种族个人无法选择而是与生俱来,gay却更是出于个人主动性而非天生。进化论有一学说认为gay uncle能与侄子侄女分享稀有资源(注意不是gay aunt,这本身就说明存在逻辑缺陷),帮助家族血脉得以延续,然而这只是科学家的预设并没有实证。
台大甘怀真老师有一次乘出租车,司机问他小时候读的历史书是真的么?真的,都是真的。老师回答道,不过侧重点不同。现在强调的是高山族原住民,因为这是台湾特有的,而中国没有……
上周澳洲报纸上登出近日中国批准了巴黎气候变化协定,而国内媒体几乎没提,2015年年初处处可见柴静PK丁仲礼的视屏和新闻。
所有这一切都是真的,只是,这是部分真实,想要你看见的真实。

Cognitive dissonance: people come to believe in and love the things they have suffer for.
作者举得例子很好笑,他说下一次问父母讨要生日礼物。你要提醒他们的不是你有多优秀多懂事,而是要提醒他们,你曾打碎了他们最心爱的鱼缸毁掉了他们的定情之物……之所以能容忍你的种种淘气,说明他们真的很爱很爱你。
所以,要让这个人喜欢你,请熟读美人鱼和灰姑娘。

Self-handicapping:you’re engaging in behaviour that you know will harm your chances of succeeding. It shows that people prefer to fail with certainty and an excuse rather than try hard and face the possibility of failure that harms their positive illusions of themselves.
裸考就是最好的例子。我从来不裸考,我也有过考试失败的经历,承认自己能力不足绝不是灭顶之灾,自欺欺人才是。

Naive realism:所有人都觉得自己的智力语言逻辑都各种能力都是中等偏上

The key to reducing prejudice and distrust is people meeting on an equal footing, with equivalent social status, while having some from of shared, co-operative goal.
说起来容易做起来难。资源是有限的,双赢是不可能地,而且诋毁异族能增强本族人的自信心。

The reality TV series imitate Stanford prison experiment. You’re seeing more and more of the effect of that situation and less and less of the celebrity’s true self.
斯坦福囚徒试验非常经典,它证明出普通人可以在很短的时间内成为极端主义者。作者引申到真人秀节目挺出乎意料,但细想确实有些道理。

Army marching isn’t used just for physical training, but also for its psychological link to obedience and aggression. This increase in obedience, and a willingness to take the life of other creatures.
意味深长的军训。

People drive cars on the left in the UK because of the practicalities of wearing a sword. People say ‘bless you’ at a sneeze because many years ago it was believed that a tiny fraction of the soul was escaping from the body with each sniffle.
Why do these practices persist?
Doing impressions; getting information from others; acknowledging the need to fit in.
The goal isn’t to do the right thing here; it’s just to do the same thing as everyone else.
木秀于林,风必摧之。以前常常把这句话挂在嘴上,因为我以为自己中等偏上(Naive realism)

Although you can fall in love very heavily with people who’re different from you, and you may have wonderful, intense relationships; the ones that are happy, the marriages that last, tend to be based on similarity and liking.
这是用于婚恋关系。还可以举个完全不同的例子。那些穿插在微博间的广告并不依靠你的点击量,而是混个眼熟随风潜入夜,以后你过节就送……。

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