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    Lily@Melbourne, Australia


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Thermie fembots shaken, but not stirred

author: Susie O’brien

It’s still a lot of money, but I wouldn’t be just buying a machine — I’d be buying myself a new life and a new identity.

You don’t own a Thermomix, you see, you have a relationship with one.

“I dared myself to fall in love with my Thermomix this month,” wrote one Thermie online.

“Our relationship has been strained. We’re not at the stage where we’re going to break up, but we have had some extended time apart and it’s not healthy for either of us”.

Women who buy the machines become Thermominxes, devote their life to Thermomastery and achieve a state of Thermobliss. Or at least, that’s the official story.

And when they break down, they talk of their “pain” and “betrayal”.

Not since KitchenAid released its famous mixer in pistachio has any one household item created so much jockeying for position on the social status ladder. There sure is a scary cult-like mentality that this machine seems to engender.

Indeed, some brainwashed fembots talk about the machine as if it’s a real person: “It’s smart and has brought new excitement into my day!” said one.

They even have their own vocabulary; talking about getting “Thermofunky,” getting caught up in the “Thermomoment” and having a “Thermofail”.

Buy a Thermomix and you, too, can use terms like this in everyday speech. It’s a great way to lose your non-Thermie friends.

Consider, if you will, all the features of the Thermomix. It’s often praised for doing the most basic of tasks such having scales that reset to zero. But so can my digital scales that cost me $50. It stops cooking once the timer is off, but so does my 1990s-era microwave. It’s got a steamer that sits on top, but so does my double-boiler saucepan set. It cooks, stirs, processes, steams and chops. So can I with a knife, breadboard and a saucepan.

In any case, I am scared to have a kitchen appliance smarter than me.

Machines like Thermomixes often don’t end up saving time, and at $2000 a pop, they certainly don’t save money. They just end up being another status symbol we can’t really afford that we buy to impress others.

I really do love the idea of being a Thermie, but in the end I am happy just being me.



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